“What if I want to get married?”
Every young man curious about missions asks this question. I should know. I did.
Many young men feel that burn, that need for a partner in life. Paul’s call to “remain as I am” (ie. single) is hard and not too enticing. Often these young men’s stories go in one of two directions. They enter the professional world, and down the road, he meets an awesome girl and gets married. Either his wife has no interest in going overseas, or at this point, his career, possessions, and comfort just seem like too much to give up.
Many of these godly young men grow up to be godly older men. The interest in missions is replaced with the responsibilities of a family and a career. It’s not sinful. It’s not wrong. But does it necessarily have to turn out this way?
The yearning for a wife is a good thing. The Bible says so. Going to the nations is a good and much needed thing. In the heart, the desire for a wife and the desire to go are at battle.
Which desire will win out? Unfortunately, as I have looked at articles and walked through the process of going overseas as a single male, there are very few compelling solutions. You may heard or read them. They are the guilt-ridden, brow beatings from Christian leaders. I’ve read those articles… “You must die to self!” “Get your act together and marry a godly woman already.” “It’s better to be a eunuch serving the Lord, than a married man denying his calling.” I may have made one of those up… While these sentiments may possess a grain of truth, they are rarely helpful nor are they very pastoral. They fail to help you wrestle with a deep, abiding struggle.
Don’t worry you can keep your manhood intact and have a heart for missions.
Our initial perception declares we trade missions for a wife or commit to perpetual singleness. Don’t worry. There is a solution to this conundrum.
It’s very simple: missionary dating.
No! Not that one! This one:
While estimates vary, on average for every single male missionary, there are 8-10 single female missionaries. That means for every you, there are around ten single, awesome women who love Jesus and love the nations.
So if you want to be married AND to serve God in mission, the solution is not to play the American, dating game, hoping your bride-to-be will also want to serve overseas. I assume if you want to do both of these things, you are looking for a woman who loves the lost and wants to live overseas.
Guess where she is.
Your desire for marriage and for missions, do not have to be mutually exclusive. Both are good and pleasing desires. Do not let them be an excuse for not going. Do not let them prevent you from taking that next step.
